Future

Will I make my parents proud until the end?

Will I be able to give back as much as they've given me?

Will I be what i've always wanted to be in life?

Will it work out well for me?

Will I find that someone i've always wanted?

Will I get the specific one?

Will I be as happy as my aunt, who has the perfect family, a loving husband with 2 beautiful childs. A girl who's still very small yet smart enough she hangs out with people far from her own age, and a baby boy who's as handsome as his father.

Will I get a husband who loves his kids, just like my father? The man who worries too much about making us happy, who listens to every problems we have even the stupidest ones and never laughs or looks down on it, who made me realize that being overprotective comes out of love.

For all the criticisms I've made over my friends' boyfriends, will I myself have the perfect relationship?

For all the criticisms I've made over divorced celebrities or sluts who steals peoples' bastards, will I have the perfect marriage?

For all the criticisms I've made over gays and such, will I have a perfectly straight child?

Will I grow up to be known and respected, like my grandfather? Someone who's still remembered even after years of death.

Will I grow up and still be independent even after my husband dies, like my grandmother? Will I be as loving as her? Will I be her? She who made me realize how painful it felt to lose the one you really love.

Will I have grandchildrens who'd love me soooo much, just as much as I loved mine? Will they miss me just as much as I miss mine? Will I still be in their heart even when I'm gone? Will they pray me heaven? So I can meet mine.....

Will I get my happy ending in and after life?

So the feeling's sad today. I haven't dealt with death in a while but someone from my big family is suffering right now. I love how everyone is gathered to give him support, but I hate watching someone going through a lot of pain. I hate to see the victim's kids faces who in the end cant do anything but pray, I hate why people have to be sick. I hate why people can't just die calmly, without screaming and crying over their pain. I hate to see the process.

So I began to imagine, what if I was watching the person I really loved going through the same exact thing? What if I was there? What if I don't want to? What if I cant? Does that mean I dont care?

Quote of the day:
"May you live to be 100, and me, 100, but minus a day so I'll never know beautiful people like you have passed away" -Rachel Getting Married